Don't Bother Buying a Tamagotchi [My Ideas]

I'm writing this section in response to the people who quite fairly wrote to me saying "go away (or alternatives) - you couldn't do any better".

As I detailed in the What's Wrong With Them section, Tamagotchi revolves around only four simple variables, each event in its life having some sort of modifier on one or more of these. I suggest adding more - ideally some that you can't see as well. Some of these would be set at birth and never change, e.g.:

Tendency towards high/low weight (how often it appears hungry)
Behavioural tendencies
Subjectivity to illness

And how about having some more things that can go wrong? Wouldn't it be better if instead of just being "ill", your Tamagotchi could have a couple of different disorders? Anorexia? Hyperactivity? Not difficult to code.

What is also needed is some longer-term underlying trends. If your Tamagotchi is left for a day without food and then fed at night, would he start to only become hungry at night? And if you switched the light off at 8pm every night, would he start to fall asleep earlier? These are slightly more difficult to code but not in the least bit complex for any decent artificial intelligence team.

And how about taking the whole thing much further? There are endless possibilities, and they really aren't all that expensive. The ones I find most intriguing are the ones that take some sort of input from the outside world. When virtual pets develop to this stage (and believe me, I am convinced they will, and not that far into the future), they really will have all the advantages that their proponents claim. They will teach kids responsibility; they will be great fun to own and, most of all, they'll be worth the money you pay for them. Even if (as I don't doubt), they will be a bit more expensive than the likes of Tamagotchi or Giga Pets.

Temperature sensors? Don't start telling me a thermistor costs more than about 5p, and it wouldn't be hard to wire it into the circuit. Your virtual pet could start to sweat if you left it in your pocket for too long, or get frostbite if you left it outside (well, if you left it outside in Scotland anyway).
Movement sensors? Your pet would get dizzy if you swung it around your head, and get bruised when you drop it.
Sound sensors? Maybe your pet would feel more comfortably in a busy atmosphere - or maybe it's one that's developed a fondness for peace and quiet?
Light sensors? Your pet can't sleep in the daylight, can it?

Now before you all bite my head off with how much these are going to cost and how unrealistic the ideas are, hear me out just briefly. Feel free to say "I told you so" in ten years time, but I would be very surprised if these aren't real future developments that will happen. Okay, they'll use more battery power. But not that much - you would only need to check a lot of these variables, say, once every five to ten minutes. They'll use more processing power. But not that much. Anyway, faster processors aren't any more expensive - they just use more battery power. I don't know how long the batteries last on Tamagotchi, but I'd be happy to have a virtual pet with the above factors incorporated that only lasted a few months on one set of batteries.

Virtual pets are a truly fantastic idea, and I take my hat off to Ban Dai for having it. I wish they'd come up with something better than Tamagotchi, but I understand they are already selling a new version which has an option to link with others. Sounds great; if anyone wants to post me one I'll be quite willing to accept it.