How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples: * "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable." * "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." * "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." * "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet." * "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." * "I am a rabid typist." * "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side." * "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." * "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." * "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far." * "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one." * "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me." * "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." * "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers." * "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." * "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant." * "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemail." * "Qualifications: No education or experience." * "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." * "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." * "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!" * Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"