WORST COUNTRY-WESTERN SONG TITLES

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)

- Do You Love As Good As You Look?

- Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

- Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

- Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

- How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

- Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

- I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

- I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

- I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

- It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long  (By THE NOTORIOUS CHERRY BOMBS)

- I Wanna Whip Your Cow

- I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

- I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

- I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

- I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

- I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

- If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

- If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

- If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me

- If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

- If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

- May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose

- My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

- My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

- My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John
  Was Breaking My Heart

- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

- Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down,
  But Baby I Can See Through You

- Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

- She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And I
  Got The Finger

- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

- She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty

- Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

- They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From
  Breakin' Out

- Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

- When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

- You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

- You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

- You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

- You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The
  Bannister Of Life

- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly